Coveting and Hypocrisy
by Collie Parkillo
Summary: It's a law of nature, the all too true fact that there will always be someone to prey on the predator. One-sided Archie/Obie.


**do you ever have a ship that you don't really know why you ship it but you write like fifty thousand oneshots of them but none of them are actually any good but you can't stop and yeah that's my relationship with archie/obie**

**disclaimer: i own nothing.**

* * *

He, the great, perpetually unfazed Archie Costello, was jealous.

It wasn't something he'd expected to be green with envy over. Boys got girlfriends. That was their entire purpose in senior year. Date as many girls as possible before college. And falling in love was something that he took great pleasure in laughing at the participants of.

So Obie getting a girlfriend shouldn't have made him seethe the way it did.

See, Archie Costello wasn't the type to yell and scream and punch things once he was out of earshot. Archie was a planner.  
He'd let the feeling simmer for a little bit, just enough until it really meant something. And then, with the red hot emotion tight in his throat, he'd plan. And those plans worked, because he'd gotten the art of putting just enough fuel behind his actions to make them seem worthwhile down to a science.

But this was something he'd ever expected, in his whole seventeen years of planning, that he never thought that he would ever have to so much as think about.

Earlier, Obie had asked what was eating him. What's eating you, he's said. You don't seem as irritating as usual.  
He'd let the snide comment slide and responded with a somewhat rushed "Nothing."

But it'd been there. In his throat. Eating at him.

That goddam jealousy. Because he knew where Obie's mind probably was. With Laurie or Laura or whatever she was called.  
What made Archie so effective was his lack of compassion. And the idea of that withering away made him cringe.

"What's eating at you, Archie?" _What right have you got to ask about my problems?_

"I told you earlier, Obie. Nothing. Your ability to listen has always been one of your strong points."

"Your ability to insult me is getting pretty damn low. You haven't given me an assignment to write down for the last three or four minutes. Hell, is it a girl?"

"No. I've got no interest in girls, Obie. You know that."

Obie snorted. "What's going on?" The lack of caring in his voice was usually what Archie liked about his assistant. That he didn't seem to care too much about anybody. There was a certain comfort in knowing that someone didn't care about anyone at all, so you weren't anything special to them.

Then again, Obie had faded out of that archetype with the discovery of Laurie, or whoever she was. He honestly didn't care to remember. "Since when are we chums who discuss each other's feelings, Obie?"

"We aren't. I'm curious is all. I can tell it's a girl, Archie. Your face is all red and you keep looking sideways. God, Archie, who is it? Who's lucky enough to be loved by the great Archie Costello?" The mocking in his tone was obvious.

"No one," was the answer Archie gave by default. Because it was true. His affection was something that the recipient should have felt at least slight gratuitous for.

And it wasn't as though he was in any sort of romantic love with Obie. He was just...envious. _It's dreadfully immature of me,_ he thought. _It's as though she's taken a toy that I always play with and refuses to give it back. Not that Obie's any sort of plaything._

"We're not chums, but we don't lie to each other. At least I don't," he added distastefully. Archie looked away, and Obie's voice rose with anticipation. "Oh, oh, I see...she doesn't love you back, does she? You think she's hot shit and she doesn't care. And she's got some guy she's all over, and that's why you're all sore." It was like he'd become a bug beneath a microscope. It was emotion, goddam _emotion._ Obie could see it all.

And he was relishing it. Archie supposed that he shouldn't have expected any more from Obie. They were partners in emotional manipulation, and Obie hadn't gotten the chance to uphold his end of the deal until now.

"That's it, isn't it? C'mon, say something."

"You've got it right," he said slowly. "But not in that way."

"What do you mean, not in that way? What sort of crap is that?" Suddenly something clicked in Obie's head, and he started laughing. It was a horrible, humiliating noise, obviously meant to drive Archie up the wall. "God...god, I get it now. It's _me._ You're always trying to get me to do your goddam assignments to keep me away from Laurie because it's _me_ you're drooling after."

"Why are you laughing?" Archie's voice was as low and neutral as he could get it. _You fool. You stupid, silly fool. You shouldn't have expected anything else from your errand boy._

"Because I've got you, Archie. You're always trying to get under my skin and here I've got you." Obie was smirking now, and Archie had to realize the irony of the whole situation.

"So? What are you trying to pitch to me?"

Obie's laughter got less triumphant and more maniacal. "You're wrapped around my goddam finger. You like to think that you control me, but here you'll do whatever I fucking say." The increased profanity in his speech made Archie's spine prickle, as though this was some side of Obie that he didn't allow himself to see.

"I never said I felt romantically towards you, Obie." He tried to let a casual smile play on his lips, but it quickly cracked around the edges. "I'm jealous. That's all. Wouldn't you be, if your right hand man started holding someone's hand and kissing them and idealistically dreaming of them wherever they went?"

"Idiot."

Archie's brow furrowed. "What did you just call me?"

"Idiot. You don't know anything about love. You can't be jealous of somebody being in love with somebody else without being in love with them at least a little. Christ, you're dense. You think you're so..." He waved his hands dramatically. "High up. But you're just a scared little boy who doesn't know how to deal with love. Huh, who would've thought."

"Shut your mouth," Archie hissed, his face reddening.

"Make me. C'mon, Archie, if you want me so bad, then come and take me." He made a mockingly seductive hand gesture and smirked. That smirk made Archie's blood boil. It was like...like, his own features had been pulled off and twisted onto Obie's, and he was left with nothing to cover himself up.

"You make it sound like..." He trailed off.

"I'm saying it how it is."

That was the last straw. Archie made his way over to Obie and grabbed him by the back of his jacket, slamming him against the wall of the hallway. But there was no hitting, no violence. Violence was never the way to go. Violence was for animals, and they were humans. Humans with stupid, tangled emotions.

Before he could stop himself, Archie Costello was kissing his errand boy. Obie wasn't resisting, in fact he seemed to be encouraging him by biting down on the other boy's lower lip.

"Is this what you want?" Obie released his mouth for a moment, practically breathing into Archie's ear.

"Your entire job is to know exactly what I want and to comply to it."

Obie laughed his infuriating, humiliating laugh again, so Archie made sure that his mouth became occupied with something else.

* * *

**this was going to be fluffy and then it just went downhill**


End file.
